Humid Cedar

Chthonic, Tentacular, and just a little Squamous

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Here's a fun little exercise for those of you who read the article I linked to below:

Pretend that Mr. Lucas decided to play his strengths and act only as producer of the first three episodes of his Star Wars series. He approaches you for the job of writing and directing the films. List three major changes you would make to the films. I'll start to give you an example of what I mean:

1. I would start Annakin as a young man (say 16) instead of as a child;
2. I would create a love-triangle between Annakin, Amidala and Obi-Wan; and
3. I would keep Darth Maul alive through the third episode.

Your turn! Post your ideas in the "comments" section!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd really prefer to look over a synopsis of the movies before I pick the three most important things I'd change; but just off the top of my head I'll submit the following.

1) I agree that Annakin would have been better starting as a teenager. I think the pod race and the Naboo starfighter attack on the federation ships in MENACE would have been more realistic and just as dramatic. What teenage driver wouldn’t dream of racing a jet-engine hovercraft, or a starfighter? Having a little kid do those things seemed like a blatant ploy to play to the “kid-movie” audience. And there’s no real need for several years of time to pass between episodes 1 and 2, so he didn’t need to age that much between the episodes. In fact, I think MENACE would have been a better place to show the beginnings of the immature impatience that characterizes him in CLONES. I think the “flaw” that foreshadows his turning to the dark side in CLONES should be more of a sublimated, hidden anger/aggression rather than the whiney, petulant impatience they put in the actual movie. Yoda should have bitch-slapped him into place at the first whine…

2) I'd also make Amadala older. The idea that an entire planet would elect a teenage girl as their supreme ruler (even if she was raised to be in politics - which we assume, but they never spell out) was really straining at credibility. Even with Matrix-like instant-knowledge implants, success in the political arena requires years of experience in dealing with people. She could easily be a decade older than Annakin, and still be a contender for his affections. When Annakin reached his sexual maturity at 18 (required by FCC regulations) in CLONES, she would only be 28 and would still be a babe. Plus seeing Natalie Portman (a fine actress – don’t get me wrong) agonize over the duty vs romance dilemma seemed contrived. I don’t think there’s a teenager alive that would choose duty over romance. That requires maturity to overcome hormones, and only time will give you that…

3) I would have ditched the Yoda/Duku duel at the end of CLONES. The sight of the super-spinning-Yoda-of-death had me laughing my ass off in the theatre when I first saw it. And I still do it now, when I see it on DVD. Being a master of The Force doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a kick-ass attacking machine. Yoda’s role on the council is to be a source of wisdom and inspiration. I agree that to be a successful Jedi, you have to sometimes choose to fight, but Yoda’s stature would be better served if his might was more of the “Immovable Object” variety, rather than the “Unstoppable Force” type. A powerful defense better suits his stature and role. Holding up the ceiling, deflecting thrown objects, absorbing force bolts, moving a pillar – YES. Super-jumping spinning buzzing saber-whirling attacks – NO.

As for the question of keeping Darth Maul around longer, I have to disagree. He was definitely COOL. He was certainly intriguing. But as the Sith’s apprentice, he had to die to make room for the future Darth Vader. “The Sith only work in twos” as they said in the movie. Maybe he could have stuck around until CLONES, but his role as direct apprentice to the Supreme Evil, didn’t fit in with the wheels within wheels political machinations in CLONES. Plus, Qui-Gon had to die to allow Obi-Wan to flub his training of Annakin, and someone had to pay for Qui-Gon’s death (because Liam Neeson was COOL too). So I hated to see him go, but he needed to die. Maybe they could have had more members of his race around as kick-ass heavies at various points in the movie(s)…

I’d also like to speak to the Jar Jar Binks issue. From the minute MENACE came out people have been complaining about Jar Jar as a “kid-movie” plant that took away from the impact of the movie. And at first I agreed. But now I appreciate that they had a character that was more understandable than Chewbacca (honk,honk,growl) but didn’t speak perfect English like everyone else in the Galaxy. And he wasn’t as obviously cutesy as the Ewoks were (lub-lub). And all of the Star Wars movies had moments of levity. They could have toned down Jar Jar’s pratfalls, but then again they didn’t have C3PO to fall down all the time (he wasn’t even done being built, yet). So enough slamming of Jar Jar. The Gungan weapons were cool (the force shields, and anti-tech power balls on slings and catapults), and I even kind of liked the Jamaican accent thing. Alien races should have more accents…

Anyway, that’s what I’ve got. Off the cuff, but some things to think about. Maybe I’ll use Lucas’s technique of stealing story ideas and put his story in a setting of my own with my own take on the characters and situations… “If only I ruled the world”

Anonymous in Ohio

11:49 AM  
Blogger Uncle Patrick said...

Thanks for the comment, AiO!

I don't have a problem with keeping Pamde the same age as she appears in the films; after all, she wouldn't have been the first kid to ascend to a throne! That doesn't necessarily mean that she is the best person for the job, though (a fact that could be exploited by the villains). I think a good place to plant the seed of a Annakin/Amidala romance is the fact that they would be the same age (assuming we bump him up a few years). Incidentally, she doesn't appear to be much younger than Obi-wan, who is obviously a super bad-ass and a potential object of her affection...you see where I am going with this.

I argue to keep Darth Maul not just because he is a bad-ass. I find the idea that Count Dooku (the name alone is a good reason to jetison this character) is an apprentice to anyone ridiculous. And as much as I like Mr. Lee, he is simply too old to do the things he's required to do (such as fight much younger men to a standstill). Making Darth Maul the pointman for the separatists gives him another dimension to his menace. And his death clears the way for Annakin to replace him.

I think Jar-Jar should have been played straight (I mean, as a viable character and not a comic bumbler). By showing an alien can be a serious player, and not a caricature or cipher, Lucas could add depth to his universe.

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the age of annakin should be older. It made the first one kind of whimpy. They attempted to show he had some real power in the next one, but I just kept seeing him as an angst ridden teen. It might have been better to portray him as teen when discovered and a powerful young man in the second one.

My only other big issue is with the kung fu stuff they have started doing with the jedi. I thought they were supposed to be more samurai/zen type characters. Not all this flying around monkey kung fu stuff.

It would have helped build the Yoda myth if his fight with Lord What's his name had been just a single pass and then the dark guy falls down in two pieces. Know what I mean.

9:35 AM  

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