I Got 'Em

I wish I could go back in time. I would tell my ten year-old self: "Kid, in the future you will own all three Star Wars movies. They will look better and sound better. You will be able to watch them anytime you like."

My ten year-old self would then look up at me and say: "That's cool. But how did you get so fat?"

My ten year-old self is a punk-assed chump. On second thought, I won't go back in time. Let him stew for a while.