Six Word Stories for Halloween

Recently, several writers wrote stories that are only six words long. You can read about them here. In that, er, spirit, I wrote a few of my own for Halloween. Don't read these alone!

Look out! That's not a squid!

I think the noise is upstairs...

Fred, why are you so pale?

Won't you come inside, my dear?

Not me, Lord Satan! Not me!

Put down the knife, junior. Put -

Last night, on "Heroes"...

Spoilers below. Get over it.


Niki the Super Strong Stripper is definitely the Hulk in this show. Her split personality is total id. Thank God she doesn't turn huge and green.

Claire's "parents" were either actors hired by Horn Rimmed Glasses Man (HRGM) or people who work for him.

Speaking of HRGM, he had the best line of the show. "That's cool!" If I were an evil mastermind, that is what I would say.

I just knew that Mohinder's neighbor (hereafter called "Pixie", although the fact that she was in the movie "Brick" may earn her the moniker "Brick Pixie") was a super! I will go out on a limb and say that her power is getting people to do what she wants.

I wonder if Hiro will go back in time to stop Niki the Hulk from killing those poker dudes. If so, how will he stop her?

And will his friend Ando become the "Batman" of the group or the "Snapper Carr"?

My Head Wants To Kill Me

If you are considering a head cold this season, then I urge you to look at other options. I have one and it SUCKS!

Perhaps a root canal is more to your liking. Wait...I had one of those too and it SUCKED!

And if you have both at the same time, then you can double the suckiness.

I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi!

I just watched the pilot episode of 30 Rock. I thought it was funny. Every actor in it was great. And it managed to do more in 20 or so minutes than Studio 60 has done in three weeks.

Don't get me wrong: I want Studio 60 to work. I think Matthew Perry is a great comic actor and I liked many of the supporting cast in other projects. I want a smart show where the characters talk intelligently and deal with interesting problems. Alas, Studio 60 is not that show. It is quite taken with itself. We are told that the main characters are the best thing since sliced bread. But the characters have done nothing to earn these accolades. The conflict is weak, the foils are straw men set up to be knocked down easily by the main characters, and these charactrers breeze through them, often dismissively. I grow bored watching it. And to make matters worse, it is not funny. Let me correct that: there are scenes where Matthew Perry, Nate Corddry and D.L. Hughley are funny. The skit show they produce is not funny. The funny scenes are not enough to make up for the rest of it.

30 Rock, on the other hand, is funny. It is a show about making a comedy show and the actors in it are funny! They deal with what I understand to be problems with working in television (such as micromanaging marketers with no creative sense running things) with aplomb and humor. Alec Baldwin, as the aforementioned micromanager, is awesome. Tina Fey, the head writer for the show, has many of the same hangups as the main writers in Studio 60, but she is funny when she tries to deal with them. And Tracy Morgan, as the film actor sent in to punch up the show, is pee-in-your-pants funny.

It promises to be a great show. I give it a month.

What Do You Mean 'Flash Gordon Approaching'?

I listened to the great, cheesy main theme for that great, cheesy movie Flash Gordon this morning. I have a question: just what is an "intergalactical upset" anyway?

Tickled Ivories

I highly recommend Bill Evans, Oscar Peterson, Bud Powell and McCoy Tyner.